Police officers are highly skilled professionals when dealing with hard criminals who are armed or otherwise dangerous. When we call them about neighbor problems, many find this beneath their qualifications. They sometimes feel there are a lot worse things they need to be ensuring aren’t happening, while they’re stuck taking a report about what a jerk your neighbor is. The fact is, resolving neighbor differences is simply beyond their qualifications in just about every case I know of. Neighbor dispute resolution requires a great deal of time and expertise, consideration of all sides, and the ultimate prevailing (if I’m handling the matter) of the better neighbor. Cops don’t have that kind of time, and don’t like for one side to win because they often don’t see the bad neighbors as criminals. Police officers frequently are unaware of their own local noise laws, for example, and even if they are, don’t rate our noisy neighbors on the criminal food chain beside violent attackers, drunk drivers, murderers and rapists.

The police don’t work just for us – they’re seeking peace, and they’d rather leave with a sense they have achieved a form of peace among warring neighbors, and then be called back when it didn’t work. They sometimes want the parties to compromise, even though only one is causing a disturbance, and this puts those of us in the Good Neighbor Underclass at a great disadvantage. Compromise means we still must endure some infractions. That counts in the NFH win column, but we should still express understanding and acceptance with officers who are making the effort, even though we know it won’t last. Telling an officer his work won’t have the desired effect is off-putting – our compliance as good neighbors builds mutual respect, which is important because bad neighbors seem often to know how to bond with the cops. Cops like leaving the scene having bonded – they remember those with whom they bonded as the good guys. Bond.

Remember that the moment an officer arrives, he or she begins sizing up the players to get a vibe. The bad guys to them are inconsistent (dishonest) and interrupting (disrespectful) – be clear, calm and don’t exaggerate the facts.

Start considering police to be case builders rather than problem solvers. Their reports enjoy the greatest credibility in municipal court, where you may find yourself next.