NFH Clipping My Shrubs

[Canned Tuna]

I was sitting here at my computer, just a few minutes before 9 pm, with the window open, and kept hearing a click, click, click sound coming from out in my yard. It wasn’t quite dark yet, and when I looked out the window, and there’s the NFH woman in the “easement” clipping away at my “picker shrubs” on her side of the driveway. So I go outside and she’s gone already. She must have heard me come out and ran for cover. So I called her name, and she says “what”. I said, what are you doing with my bushes, and she launches into this verbal assault about having to clip the pickers so she and her truck don’t get scratched. I said the shrub is on my property and she says the shrub is hanging over on her property line, and then she goes into her argument about how I’m encroaching on HER property line. She still doesn’t get it. It’s an EASEMENT, and on my deed. I told her I never heard any complaints from her about the shrub scratching her truck, and that if she had just asked or said something I would have taken care of it. I told her i'm not a mind-reader. She said “I shouldn’t have to ask you. You’re out here clipping in your jungle (yup, she said jungle), but not this” and called me “jungle queen”. And she got right in my face – like 4 or 5 inches away, and I told her to back off, and she goes into “no, you back off”. She is f**king nuts. Then she says “I can’t talk to you because you go and bring authority down on me and my 10 and 12 year old boys”. Oh puh-leeze. I told her that her boys were shooting bbs into my yard. She said the guns aren’t illegal and I said yes they are illegal. And then she says “No, they're not. Do you know who I’m dating? I’m dating a cop”. BFD. I said “I don’t give a f**k who you’re dating, the guns are still illegal” and had to tell her to back off again. I don’t know if she was drunk or what but she is f**king NUTS. She wanted to keep arguing and I finally walked away and told her to bite me. She said “bite you? There’s no part of your body…. Blah blah”. Yeah dumbshit. Take it literally. I was SO PISSED, I was shaking after I got in the house. I don't see how this situation is going to ever improve, unless one of us moves. She is literally nuts. No one around here talks to her. She has intimidated everyone.

[greenlightbandit]

Are you black? If so, the jungle comments would be particularly offensive.

As it is, the neighbor has a right to clip the branches that grow thru to her side. She doesn't have to ask or offer the clippings to you like they do in England.

Yesterday the neighbor came by to let me know that he was going to be trimming my plants that grow over onto his mother's property. I told him not to worry, that he was welcome to cut anything that crosses the fence, that I was aware of the law.

The guy even came over an removed a tree that I didn't need, and climbed my walnut tree to cut the half that was hanging over the mother's house.

It was a little noisy for a Sunday, but I didn't complain, as I was happy to have them do the work. Saves me a few $$$.

[Canned Tuna]

No, I'm not black.

When I bought the house 2 years ago, there was little to none landscaping. Last summer, I removed most of my lawn and planted a long shrub/perennial border along the perimeter of my property. I get tons of comments on my "garden" (cottage style) - strangers driving by stop and tell me how beautiful it is. Apparently, NFH woman disagrees (jealousy?) and has resorted to name calling: "jungle queen".

My point was, she could have talked to me in a civil way about my shrubs. BTW, the "branches" that she claimed were encroaching on "her" property? These shrubs are barely 3 feet tall by 2 foot wide. The branches that were sticking out were maybe 3 inches long, if that - and no where even close to blocking her passage down the easement. She's looking to pick a fight.

She's continually PO'd about anything and everything. A couple of other neighbors who have had to talk to her, got the pitiful story about how she's a single mom and how dare THEY cause problems for her. Last night, she tried to intimidate me with her "I'm dating a cop" statement. And she's physically threatening - she gets literally IN YOUR FACE - inches away. I told her to back off, and she turned it around at me - "no, you back off". It was useless to even try to talk to her. She's nuts. And I'll bet things are going to get worse - subtle, passive aggressive type crap - until I give up, sell and move away. Then she'll start all over again with the next owner, just like she did with the owner before me and probably has been doing for the past 10 or 15 years.

I'm a middle-aged, single woman. I mind my own business, pay my bills on time, keep my property neat and tidy, have a few quiet friends and neighbors up the street who stop in now and then (she has none), don't take any BS, and she has me targeted.

My thought is to get out now BEFORE it gets worse. Before her kids torch my roof, or she does a lawn job with her motorcycle, or the meth head moves back in and blows the place up.

[urberdurber]

Canned:"I’m dating a cop”. BFD."

BFD is right. Don't ya love it. Tell her you are dating a lawyer, a judge or a paroled nut case.

[urberdurber]

DiD:"Moronic suckie baby."

That's funny. Do you mind if I borrow that one?

[Carol]

<<Are you black? If so, the jungle comments would be particularly offensive.
>>

Are you for real?

Also, if it is hanging over onto her property she has every right to trim it back. Why were they planted so close in the first place? Do you plant them? She probably did it then so as to avoid a confrontation.

[34garden]

Did you plant the shrubs as a hedge to keep the NFH out? You do know that NFH take any kind of boundaries extremely personally. Ours did, we tried to plant trees. His dog whizzed on them so much they died. So then we eventually put up a fence - then he lost it completely and started a revenge "game" with us.

Me, I would put up a fence, because NFHs will destroy any plants they can get hold of to get rid of that boundary. I will not live in another property that does not have a fence (preferably tall privacy fence) around the entire yard.

And yes, if they are over the mutual property line, they can trim them. BUT they can't disfigure or maim or damage the tree/shrub. I don't know too much about easements though. If it becomes a problem, consult a property lawyer.

What a freak she is... those are small bushes. She just likes the drama. NFH create drama because they have no life and that is the pathetic way they call attention to themselves.

[Canned Tuna]

The hedge in question existed on the property when I purchased it, apparently planted by the previous owners to keep NFH's kids, toys, etc. off the property. I keep it trimmed within reason, so as NOT to scratch kids, vehicles, etc. that use the easement. My point is (no pun intended), the branches were not encroaching onto the easement or long enough to reach her truck. As an aside, she hit my fence last summer (fence installed by the previous owner to block her kids, etc - and this runs parallel to the easement), resulting in a 2-3 ft diameter hole in one of the sections. She's reckless. The easement is not paved, but spread with chipped limestone. So any time she's PO'd she hits the gas when she leaves, spewing dirt and gravel all over the place. The original property parcel was split 3-ways 100 years ago by the original owner of my home, resulting in my lot, the NFH's lot and a third parcel on the east side of my lot. The easement was created at that time (I have the signed document) to provide access to the other two parcels. NFH has been taking advantage of the fact that the third property (to my east) has been vacant for almost a year - the owner no longer rents it out and is trying to sell it. So NFH uses the extra space between her garage and the third parcel (which has no garage) to park her extra vehicles. I was aware of the easement when I purchased my home - as my attorney found it during a title search. I was NOT aware, however, of the family from hell, until a few months after I moved in.

[Later]

she says the shrub is hanging over on her property line, and then she goes into her argument about how I’m encroaching on HER property line. She still doesn’t get it. It’s an EASEMENT, and on my deed. I told her I never heard any complaints from her about the shrub scratching her truck, and that if she had just asked or said something I would have taken care of it

the branches were not encroaching onto the easement

I'm confused. If the branches weren't encroaching onto the easment, why did you tell her you would have taken care of it if she had just asked?

[Canned Tuna]

I'm confused. If the branches weren't encroaching onto the easment, why did you tell her you would have taken care of it if she had just asked?

I don't know! I was angry. The branches were not encroaching on the easement or long enough to scratch her truck. NFH's opinion was that they were. In her mind they were an encroachment, an opportunity for a confrontation - some drama in her bored pitiful life. I was angry that she didn't ask me first as I would have done to her, and I guess I was trying to implant this idea of using an "ask first" approach in a situation like this. All I expect from her is respect, the same as I would extend to her in a similar situation. However, I fully realize now that there's no discussion, no negotiating, no reasoning with this woman. All she did was reinforce my belief that she is a coward, crazy and not to be trusted. I guess it's also about me being a control freak about my stuff. I don't mess with her stuff unless it comes over my fence, then I toss it right back. This stupid bush was sitting there, not hurting a thing. But I think she saw it as an opportunity for a confrontation with me. She thrives on confrontation and intimidation. I do not. From now on I'll keep the damned thing pruned down to the bare bones. I'm willing to do that, just to avoid confrontation with a very unstable woman. In other words, I'll be doing it for me. Let her think I'm cow-towing to her, I don't care. I have done NOTHING to this woman and her kids without provocation from them.

[greenlightbandit]

<<Are you black? If so, the jungle comments would be particularly offensive.
>>

Are you for real?

Why wouldn't I be? My yard looks like a jungle, too. But, if my neighbor started calling me a jungle king, I wouldn't like it, either.

[xyz]

Re: jungle queen
I wouldn't give a sh** if I were you, considering it's coming from someone whose entire existence is a wasteland.

[Later]

She thrives on confrontation and intimidation. I do not.

But weren't you the one who confronted her by going outside and calling out her name as she was "running for cover"?

[Canned Tuna]

There's a difference between THRIVING on confrontation and STANDING UP FOR ONESELF. I do not provoke situations that result in confrontation. I stand up for myself. There's a HUGE difference.

What would YOU have done? I won't be intimidated by this psycho-b!tch from hell in situations like this unless she confronts me with a weapon. Most of the time I will ignore her. She crossed the line this time. I have boundaries and I will defend them.

[Carol]

<<What would YOU have done? >>

I would have felt the sudden urge to water my bushes with the garden hose nozzle set to the power wash setting. I would not have wasted words on a piece of NFH. Try to think ahead of things you can do to counter act NFH activity. Gotta always one-up them and shut them down.
Oh, and I have done this. It works.

[Later]

What would YOU have done?

That's hard to say since I don't have a history with her like you do, and therefore no axe to grind. Seems like a pretty minor issue to get all worked up over though.

[ScapegoatGal]

"I would have felt the sudden urge to water my bushes with the garden hose nozzle set to the power wash setting" - Carol

Props to you, Carol. I have filed this under "ways to one up an arsehole NFH".

[Domino]

I have a japanese barberry planted at the back of my garage on the neighbors side of my fence. The land there is at a higher elevation than my yard. The fence sits on top of the elevation, meets up with my garage, and that's where the shrub is. The reason it's there is to deter kids from climbing the fence and up on to the garage roof, which is very easy to do because of the elevation.

Anyway, new granola crunching neighbors purchased the home behind us. I offered to cut down the prickly shrub, completely, if they wanted me to, since it butts up next to their property line. Not only did they decline my offer, but they readily accepted two other barberries that I was trying to get rid of. They planted these in another area of their yard.

Now, NFH makes comments to me that he "scratches" his arms on my shrub whenever he walks past it - though he has some overgrown shrubs that he refuses to trim back, and this limits the space between his shrub and my own. I told them if they ever need to trim it back TO MY PROPERTY LINE, feel free to do so. I DO trim it back regularly, but because it's the growing season I get out there when I can, but it still grows. So, I'm out there one day and he points at his two barberries and then at mine, and tells me that he's going to be trimming them into a round shape. UMMMMM...NO you are not. This is my shrub and it's one thing to cut it back to my property line, which he has every right to do and I've even encouraged him to do so if needed, but now he wants to "shape" it into a shape that he likes? I don't think so. This is the same neighbor who tried to get all his surrounding neighbors to go in on a group survey for the properties, because he can't afford it. Do the math - if all his surrounding neighbors pay for a property survey, it wouldn't be necessary for him because it would already be done for him! And, he's so particular about property lines, complaining to me about another neighbor who has a fence attached to his garage (obviously at the consent of a prior owner many many years ago), but he knew what was there when he bought the place, so why complain about it now? He also complains about this neighbor because they have hostas that extend 2 inches over the property line. Come on, why buy a small lot and then complain about someone stepping over the line? Can you say gradeschool?

I have to encroach on his property to access the back of my garage where we store our woodpile. We own probably a little over a foot to the property line behind the garage. Legally, this is the only access I have back there and per the city, he cannot block my access. We keep the woodpile very tidy, contained, and nothing in the view from his back yard (his garage butts up to our own). So now he has been dumping piles of dirt directly in front of my woodpile. I don't even acknowledge them anymore. Inconsiderate and passive aggressive.

But I'm glad they aren't screaming obscenities to me...that lady sounds like a real freak and I would not want a neighbor like that. The reason I got into this long post is because her behavior reminded me a lot of my own neighbor - passive aggressive. Nothing wrong with her approaching you about trimming the shrubs, which she should have done, though she does have the right to cut them back if they encroach on her property.

Good luck. Stay clear of her. Keep the shrubs trimmed back, especially if it may be near her vehicle - things could get ugly if there is damage.

[Domino]

Are you sure that LATER isn't the NFH?

[ScapegoatGal]

Now, NFH makes comments to me that he "scratches" his arms on my shrub whenever he walks past it - though he has some overgrown shrubs that he refuses to trim back, and this limits the space between his shrub and my own. I told them if they ever need to trim it back TO MY PROPERTY LINE, feel free to do so. I DO trim it back regularly, but because it's the growing season I get out there when I can, but it still grows. So, I'm out there one day and he points at his two barberries and then at mine, and tells me that he's going to be trimming them into a round shape. UMMMMM...NO you are not. This is my shrub and it's one thing to cut it back to my property line, which he has every right to do and I've even encouraged him to do so if needed, but now he wants to "shape" it into a shape that he likes? I don't think so.

I also live in a neighbourhood where our homes and driveways are immediately beside our neighbour's both to our left and right. A previous owner of my home was obviously an avid gardener and I have some amazing things growing in the front and back. It truly is beautiful, but it's hard for a newbie gardener like me to maintain because I am still learning the ropes. One of my vines are located at the end of my lot directly beside my neighbours, and this year due to the rain my vegetation has grown so much that a lot of it ended up blocking part of his small driveway. He asked me if he could cut it back and I went over to his side to take a look at the vine (I cannot see his side from my home or even coming in the driveway from the street due to the way our properties are situated). The poor guy. I mean, it was taking up a good three feet of his driveway! I apologized profusely and cut it back (and it has already grown back in the three weeks since!!!!). He came out while I was cutting it and said "ohhh, I would've done it! Thank you very much!". I then told him to feel free to cut it back whenever he needed to since I work a lot and I don't want his driveway or car to be affected, although I know now to monitor it. However, he would likely notice before me and I don't want him feeling that he should ask me first, so feel free to remove it whenever it was necessary. That was it. No problems, conflicts, etc. To me, this is the way neighbours should treat one another. Also, the entire right side wall of my home is immediately next to his driveway and I have an antique stained glass window on that side that leads to my dining room. I need to get on his property to open the protecting window to get inside to clean the stained glass window itself because I can't open it from the dining room itself. So, I simply asked him if I could go ahead and do this one day since I would need access beyond a really nice wrought iron fence and gate they recently installed. Again...not a problem. His response was "Sure, absolutely. Let us know and we'll let you in, or, if we aren't home, just let us know beforehand and go ahead and open the gate yourself. Now, I also believe they cannot deny me access, but it's the proper neighbourly thing to do to ask first since they do have ownership of it and despite the by-law saying I could, the courtesy to let him or his wife know only helps our already great relationship.

And, he's so particular about property lines, complaining to me about another neighbor who has a fence attached to his garage (obviously at the consent of a prior owner many many years ago), but he knew what was there when he bought the place, so why complain about it now? .

Correct me if I am wrong, but if a previous owner gave this permission for such an attachment, can the new homeowner demand it be removed, or would this now qualify as a sort of easement? Since our homes are all 80+ year old larger homes on smaller lots, we have this situation arising from a number of things attaching themselves to someone's fence, garage, etc. I've often wondered about this. I know laws are different from city to city, let alone from the US to Canada, but this sounds pretty standard to me.

[Carol]

<<if a previous owner gave this permission for such an attachment, can the new homeowner demand it be removed, >.

yes

[Canned Tuna]

but it's the proper neighbourly thing to do to ask first since they do have ownership of it and despite the by-law saying I could, the courtesy to let him or his wife know only helps our already great relationship.

Carol, you are very fortunate to have such a thoughtful neighbor.

[Domino]

Correct me if I am wrong, but if a previous owner gave this permission for such an attachment, can the new homeowner demand it be removed, or would this now qualify as a sort of easement? Since our homes are all 80+ year old larger homes on smaller lots, we have this situation arising from a number of things attaching themselves to someone's fence, garage, etc. I've often wondered about this. I know laws are different from city to city, let alone from the US to Canada, but this sounds pretty standard to me.

That's an interesting point. I think it's on an individual basis, because I've heard both. If you let a neighbor use a piece of your property for x amount of years, it CAN be considered theirs. I think it depends on local laws, verbal agreements, and your attorney. There is a portion of the side of my garage that my neighbor uses, fine with me because I don't have access on her side, but the understanding is if she wants to plant there, she maintains it, but of course we still own it.

As far as an easement, we recently had an wrought iron driveway gate installed. Because it was pricey and we had to encroach on our neighbors property (with their permission), we DID get an attorney to draw legal papers so it's attached to the property deed. That way, no headaches for us or them if either of us should sell our house. Otherwise, in my opinion, what's in your deed is your property, and now I'm responsible for maintaining the area. We were originally planning to go a different route, but we couldn't position everything on on our property because of where their meter is located - city requires a three foot clearance around an electric meter, otherwise, city has the right to remove whatever you put there if it should interfere with their access.

In turn, I let her attach her fence to the back of my garage, which is fine because I'd rather have the properties enclosed anyway. It's less opportunity for people to wander on our properties. There was a fence there before she replaced it, that was there when we purchased the home, and my thought was, this was agreed upon between the owners at some point in history, and I had no need to remove it so I didn't mind. BUT, if I had a reason to remove it, I believe it would have been my right to do so. We loved our former neighbors anyway. Our new neighbors aren't so bad either, though they are the "copycats", and I wouldn't consider them a NFH by any stretch of the imagination, nonetheless it gets annoying at times. LOL

I think the best neighborly relations are all about give and take.

My NFH (mild in comparison to others I've read about), approached me not long after he purchased the home basically telling me that he has xx amount of time from the time he purchases his home to establish his property lines. I have nothing on his property to begin with, but likewise I explained that the city says I have every right to encroach on his property (I walk through my back gate to get to the back of my garage) if that is the only access I have to the back of my garage.

But it's silly to me that he's in a tizzy about the neighbors fence attached to the garage since it was there when he purchased the home. And really, it would serve no purpose for him to remove it because I see no reason for him to use that side of his garage. It's pointless. But, he has every opportunity to remove it now because the owners next to him are selling their home. If he wants to remove it, now's the time.

[Carol]

but it's the proper neighbourly thing to do to ask first since they do have ownership of it and despite the by-law saying I could, the courtesy to let him or his wife know only helps our already great relationship.

Carol, you are very fortunate to have such a thoughtful neighbor.

I didn't write that

[Canned Tuna]

Sorry about that. I guess it was scapegoatgal who wrote it.