Harassment define please…

[crushed]

I need a "reasonable person" definition of harassment


If neighbor B puts up a fence where they think the property line is without a survey is that harassment?
If neighbor A trims back the foliage that has grown several feet past this fence is this harassment?
If neighbor B insists that the cop is biased for not charging neighbor A with destruction of her property because the fence line IS NOT the property line is that harassment?
If neighbor A gets a survey to settle a property dispute, and discovers that they do not own several feet past the fence actually she seems to own several feet past THEIR fence is that harassment?
If neighbor B files for a restraining order the day after the survey is that harassment?
If neighbor A puts up a No Trespassing sign is that harassment?
If neighbor B complains about the No Trespassing sign because it faces their yard is that harassment?
If Neighbor A places a video camera in plain view on their property to protect themselves is that harassment?
If neighbor B calls the police because the neighbor is watering their lawn, is this harassment?
If neighbor A is so afraid to be alone that she moves another family member into the neighborhood so she wont be alone, is that harassment?
If neighbor B files a restraining order on the new family member two days after they move in based on criminal charges that were investigated and found to be false, is that harassment?
If neighbor A files a quiet title to settle the dispute in court is that harassment?
If neighbor B says that the fence line has always been the agreed upon boundary even though they didn’t agree before the survey is that harassment?
If neighbor A decides to just let them have the land and agrees that the fence line is to be the new property line is that harassment?
If neighbor B agrees to this, but then moves the fence prior to the survey is that harassment?
If neighbor A files contempt of court for failure to stick to the agreement is that harassment?
If neighbor B now says that they may have been mistaken about the facts that the agreement were on, they did move the fence but it doesn't matter because the fence post they WANTED the new survey to be on was still there, is that harassment?


I read somewhere that harassment was based on a “reasonable person” standard… that if a reasonable person would feel harassed then it’s harassment. So my question is which one of these neighbors is REALLY being harassed? Or is it your honest opinion that both neighbors are fueling the fire?

[Guest]

In my opinion, the definition of harassment will be twisted to suit whoever's charging harassment. The police don't really care, and will charge both sides if you can't get along with each other. I was told by the police that if I took photos or video of my NFH, even from my yard, I would be charged with stalking. Speaking to them for any reason could be harassment if they felt that it was so. I am still doing audio recordings, but of course they don't know about that, so haven't been able to come up with some trumped up charge yet. I was taking video to present at a homeowner's association meeting and explained that to the officer. Doesn't matter. Even if they agree that you are doing nothing wrong, they will charge you with anything that the other person calls it, and then they will let the court decide who's right.

It is frustrating, but unless you are willing to spend time in court over this stuff, I doubt it's worth it. Why lower yourself to the childish, boorish level of these people? I am trying to come up with ways to cope with their behavior and keep my life as sane and normal as possible. I do document it sometimes, but pretty much my only hope is that they will move away! Where have all the considerate, nice people gone?

[Guest]

I agree there can't be a battle without two parties involved, though one may be more agressive than the other it still takes two. It's just so sad... that one of the two has to be the sweetest woman I know, she has lost two foot of land, 7 cats, 35 pounds, several thousand dollars and years off of her life.

She seemed so strong at 70, and now at 75 it's taking it's toll... she is frail and unsteady on her feet. She can't even water her yard without having the cops called on her... and all she has done is try to solve it wihtout going to court, and it keeps ending us in court with them throwing accusations of harassment at us...

But I can't see that they have lost a dang thing. She sure as heck hasn't lost weight, no pets have dissapeared, they haven't put out any money, and they sure don't look frail to me...

[guest]

I was told by a police officer to install video cameras to catch our neighbors in the act. If the cameras are positioned to only tape what concerns your property and safety, then it is not stalking. It is surveillance.

[Guest]

But I guess my original question is what exactly is harassment... does a reasonable person consider their neighbor getting a survey harassment, or do they normally say "oh, my bad... sorry... I'll just move that fence"

She keeps claiming we are harassing her, but she isn't the one out 7 cats who all suspiciously dissapear after altercations over the cats... she isn't out $1000 on a survey that did nothing, she isn't the one whose kids were afraid to cross the street at night...

Everything we have done to STOP the harassment has been defined as harassment in her complaints against us... a survey, a quiet title action, a contempt of court... they won't stop... and everytime we think we have found a way to stop it, she turns it back on us and we start all over.

[pwlcapricorn1]

It sounds like the NFH feeds off your actions. If you have the upper hand in court, I wouldn't worry about what constitutes harrassment. Let the court decide that. You are only trying to protect your interests and your family. Harrassment can not be summed up easily. That's why we have the courts. There are some great free legal advice web sites that you can go to if you need the legal perspective of harrassment. Just type in "free legal advice". You will fine boards just like this one. Here's one link I found that was very helpful to me in dealing with my NFH. http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/index.php I hope this helps.

[crushed]

The courts are supposed to decide harassment based on the reasonable person theory. Meaning would it cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety.

So if animals are coming up missing and are found dead... yes probably, if you are being stalked, yes probably, threats and verbal abuse, probably...

However most people do not fear for their safety when a neighbor puts up a No Tresspassing sign, or gets a survey done... or their neighbor trims their bushes... these things may be annoying, but they are not harassment...

and... you always have the choice, you can get angry when you are annoyed or you can just choose to ignore it. You can blow it up into this big thing in your mind and decide that they only did it to bug you or... you can just assume the obvious, that their life does not revolve around you... if their water goes in your yard, it happens...

*sigh* I just wish I could get them to understand this logic.

However... things are good here, nice and quiet now, sometimes it is hard not to assume that they are up to something... but we all just go on. This is almost over, I just have a good feeling that they have finally gone too far. I have a sense of peace right now, and I truly believe that this is done.

[Guest xyz]

I hope your peace continues, enjoy it while you can but stay vigilant & keep your animals safe.

[FedUp]

My husband and I live in an apartment complex with two loud neighbors . its a very wird story that you wont believe. I wouldnt believe it either if i heard it! Well a fe days ago like 4am inthe morning the neigbor on our left side starts blaring his music real loud . I let him get away with it if its in the morning but ths time he went too far. So we bnged on his wall and at the same time it was so loud that the neigbor on the other side of us banged on our wall. So we went next door to the couple it was the guy next do us doing it and they were like are you serious?? Were like yup.But I guess they didn't believe us because then they started playing thier music real loud then the guy tried to compete with them . So here we are stuck in the middle of a music war. Later on that night the couple called the cops on us for domestic violence at like 4in the morning when I got home from work. They came to the door when we went to bed at like around 440 .My husband was like why are thier cops at our door ??? We explained to the officer the whoe situation. Well we went to bed and guess what the hell happened when we woke up! Thier was a pile of dirt in front of our door with cigerette buds !! I gess ill have to go to the landlord cus im too busy trying to make ends meat and suvive to fight with some psychos .