Online Counsel Transcripts

Here is a sample of recent communication between the author and those who contact him through this site. Names and towns have been changed to protect anonymity, and only communication from a year or longer ago is featured.

From Steve (Chicago area), June 3, 2005:

I have a nice home and live alone. I would like to keep my house. I have a HUGE problem with a neighbor since I moved in way back in 1992. He is a Vietnam vet (age 60) and seems to relish in "bullying" me! I live alone and he is constantly revving his 3 Harley Davidson cycles early in the morning and sometimes all day long.

There is no sleeping or resting with the noise. He yells "fag" at me and says "fuck you" etc. I have to this point not used profanity at him, but I have told him that he belongs in a mental hospital and is very sick and crazy. His response is "fuck you" and more noise!

The funny part is that nobody else seems bothered by him. He can charm when he wants to, but I think he is evil! They carried his second wife out of his house in a body bag-apparently a suicide.

Any help would be appreciated. I have not called the Police, because my fear is that they will do nothing and the noise and "bullying" will only get worse!

Author's Response:
Hi Steve. Your neighbor sounds like a real treat. It may not be much consolation, but he's quite typical of a NFH, and there are millions.

First off, if you are gay and he's calling you a "fag," he's committing a hate crime -- harassment.

If you're not gay, he can get away with calling you that name without it being a federal offense.

However, if you perceive he is threatening you, because he thinks you're gay, even if you're not, you can file a criminal complaint, fearing being the victim of gay-bashing (despite being straight).

You seem to have a good grasp of police involvement and its relative uselessness. Couple of points here: 1. Police in many areas rank noise and general neighbor disputes among nuisance crimes -- they don't take such issues seriously in most jurisdictions until one of you shoots the other. 2. Many officers belong to a Harley subculture, love the noisy bikes and the people who ride them, and fail to enforce laws against revving/disturbing the peace, even when called to investigate/summons an offender. 3. Cops tend to identify with war veterans because they themselves belong to a paramilitary organization. All that said, there are many police organizations and officers that take the law seriously and will indeed warn your NFH not to disturb you, then ticket him upon follow-up offenses, and even arrest him if he gets crazy/out of line with them. Your NFH is the type of guy who drinks a lot of beer, am I right? Tattoos, bellowing voice? He's a living, breathing cliche. He's likely a regular pot smoker, maybe into LSD/other drugs, and if so, that can be part of your complaint to police. Just have reasonable grounds to suspect there's drug use/trafficking -- don't let police get away with asking you for proof. Getting proof is their responsibility.

You're also right that involving the police agitates the offender, who will then make a point of being noisier, more threatening, and may even act out by damaging your property. This is what makes Neighbors From Hell the bullies of the adult world. You should not have to fear retaliation when you bring a legitimate complaint to police, but it's realistic to do so. At the same time, though, making your complaint official means police get his name and information so that, in the event you suffer property damage or are the victim of any other crime, they know who to talk to first -- your NFH. A public record that you two are in a dispute makes him look guilty of anything happening to you or yours down the immediate road.

If you do make your complaints official, I recommend taking every precaution to protect yourself if you think the guy's really nuts/dangerous. While I generally favor involving authorities in such situations, I do caution NFH victims that we're dealing here with someone who's already showing highly antisocial behavior. It usually doesn't get fixed easily, and often worsens before it gets better.

Some slightly more passive ideas ... 1. Nutty veterans belong in treatment, and you might try contacting your local VA hospital or other veterans organization about a "friend" of yours that you're concerned about. See if a social worker could pay him a visit. Say he's drinking too much and getting into fights with his neighbors. How concerned they'd be and how able to help they'd be -- I don't know. 2. He's likely kind and pleasant with people larger than himself, or with whom he can readily identify. If you have any big, husky friends, relatives in the military, or know anyone who owns a Harley, have them all over for a barbecue. Hold it when you know he'll be around -- he'll take note. Repugnant as this may sound, you might even tell him to come over for a beer. NFH's hate us better neighbors for a lot of reasons, chief among them the fact they can't begin to identify with us, so decide to dislike us, and find ways to aggressively bother us.

Fighting this guy and resolving the problems he creates won't be easy. As you say, you want to stay put. Please keep me informed from time to time, and feel free to post your problem on the NFH message board, where you'll get a sympathetic ear (well, EYES, thousands of them) and maybe some other ideas.

From Steve:
Hello Bob:

Thank you for your fast reply. You have provided me with insight that until now eluded me.

Here are some additional items of note that you may find interesting. Back in 1998, his wife committed suicide right in the home. That was really scary and most of the neighbors do not know about that. He is very friendly to select people and at age 60, he has a new wife or live-in woman who moved in with him and his daughter.

From what I know, he is Mexican but wants to be a white redneck because that's all he associates with, I do know he has used cocaine in the past and associated issues with addiction years ago.

I have had a few battles with him verbally. He cannot keep up with me and I can talk more succinctly and clearly and all he seems to be able to do is lunge toward me and use profanity. Its "F" you, and "F" you faggot over and over.

The entire issue started when I wrote him several letters about his barking dog and lighting up his Harley at 5:30 AM every morning. He came to my door and let me have it. "Who that "F" do you think you are? You're one of those who gets lawyers on people" he claimed. "I know your kind" and I simply told him that I do not want to hear him all of the time. If it was quiet then I would not bother him. Since that incident at my front door, needless to say I have empowered him by not fighting back.

Since that day, he has escalated his noise with the dog, the machinery, and the repairs on vehicles. the Harleys and more.

I simply do not have to desire, time or energy to constantly struggle with this idiot.

I am not sure if I am scared of him, but he is repulsive to me. The woman he lives with, are usually silent and enablers to all of this insanity. He claims I tried to kill his dog to justify his hatred and anger at his nuisance noise at me.

He is sociopath and is obsessed with his woman. She generally keeps him in the house or at least quiet. I am certain that she is an unknowing victim of his wrath.

I work afternoons and evenings and I have had to sleep at my father's home on and off especially in nice weather because he starts right at 7AM or earlier. I like rain because it keeps him in!

I have a 45 page document with every incident since 1998 of him verbally assaulting me, but when I took it to a lawyer, the lawyer told me that the guy is crazy and I should move.

Anyway, that's a little more information. I appreciate your help and understanding and thank you for your great insight again. You have made me feel much better.

Thank you!

Author's Response:
If I could add one point, Steve -- get a new lawyer. You shouldn't have to move if you don't want to. I discourage people from moving away and letting the bad guys win. I beat my own bad guys after many years of fighting, then moved, and I must admit my life would have been simpler had I just moved sooner. But there is principle, as well as desire to stay put. The good guys are supposed to win. We deserve it. Based on his early accusation that you yourself are a lawyer, I'd bet he'd be somewhat alarmed about receiving a threatening letter from a good lawyer.

Again, if he's physically larger than you, if he's nuts, or if you feel threatened, be very careful. Such people are sometimes armed also, or carry knives. Always take every precaution. To revisit police involvement, I wonder if his wife's suicide deserves more investigation -- is there any chance she didn't really kill herself, that the nut somehow hurt her and made it look like suicide? If you have any such suspicion, consult the local detectives (not the line officers -- they don't know detective work or homicide from a hole in the ground). Just the fact he's so antisocial with you makes him worth looking at by investigators for the death of his wife. Even if you're certain it was suicide, detectives visiting him could shake him up a bit.

As for the wake-up time difference, I wonder if he'd like some noise coming from your place when he's sleeping? If that's possible (i.e. outdoor construction project) without disturbing your other, better neighbors, keep it in mind. It needn't be construction either. Have your local phone service make your calling identity "unknown" or similarly untraceable, and give him several calls after midnight. He'll have a hard time waking up at 5:30 a.m. in that case.

Anything you can do to make him unhappy will help to isolate him, break him down. Good luck. Stay safe.

From: Linda (Spokane, WA), June 27, 2005:
My new neighbors from hell chose to move in from 10pm to 2am. What part of people are sleeping don't they understand?

But now the worst is two kids age 9-11 who must be jumping off furniture and horsing around violently. My walls and floor shake violently and windows rattle. It feels like an earthquake, and can last for 45 mins. This isn't noise, as much as it is shaking and rattling, causing my cats to throw up and hide under the bed. I cannot relax--because the assaults come from out of no where. IS THERE A earthquake type seizometer I can get a hold of to prove this abuse? Help!

Author's Response:
You have genuine complaints. Have you discussed the problem with these neighbors? Do they live above or below you? Is this an apartment or condo? Do they rent or own? Does the community have a management team/is there an homeowner's association?

I ask all these questions because I think, realistic or not, communicating with the neighbor about the problem is the best first step. It seldom solves the problem, which is why I ask the rest of the questions, to establish steps in getting things resolved so you can relax and your cats can hold down their food, as they're entitled to do.

Linda wrote:
Wow, thank you for such a speedy reply! When the neighbor was moving in at 1:30 am I went upstairs and asked him to please stop. He slammed the door in my face and continued. They live above (apartment) and a relative of theirs moved in below. I have been talking to mgmt since the beginning, and today I got the on-site maintenance mgr's cell number so he can come over when it's really bad. The mgr told me other people had a right to live...but ongoing shaking as if the floor has been attacked by a wrecking ball, is over the top!

I just wondered if you knew of any way to monitor violent movement of the bldg. Thank you Bob!

Author's Response:
I'm not aware of technology to monitor movement -- just noise. However, disturbance comes in many forms, including what you're going through. Don't take from management that line about other people having a right to live. Our rights as good neighbors prevail over the rights of bad ones. At least, they should. For the sake of simplicity, when complaining to management, don't refer to the disturbance as shaking or vibration -- these are unusual concepts to the majority of people. Refer to the disturbance as noise, plain and simple. Most towns have an ordinance against noise, as do most clustered living complices. If management won't act, you should contact police. Now, be aware that in many areas cops say they have no jurisdiction in a community that has management. That's crap. If you kill your noisy neighbor, cops have jurisdiction, right? They also have it when it comes to any other crime being committed. Obviously, the reaction you got from your new neighbor demonstrates he's not going to improve his behavior on his own. Don't be intimidated, but also be careful -- noisy/disruptive neighbors often have antisocial personalities and can be dangerous. Keep your complaints to management ON PAPER so you have a record, and keep after management. It's their job to "manage" the community and that includes providing a safe, livable environment.

Keep me posted. My replies can't always be so speedy -- I'm just online late tonight.

From Elizabeth (Altoona, PA), July 6, 2005:
i have neighbors from hell. they have vandalized. beat up my renters. made death threats. and the sheriffs wouldnt even make a report until i contacted an attorney. today i finally got a captain to investigate my reports and the attorney threat seems to help. do you think i could sue the sheriff for negligence?

Author's Response:
Hi Elizabeth. I'm not an attorney, and if you speak with one you'll get a better idea of litigation possibilities. People often sue police bodies successfully, if it's damages you want. If you simply want to chastise the sheriff, you might consider just taking your situation to the media -- public officials and cops hate negative press.

Your renters also have a potential suit against both the sheriff and the assaulting neighbors. I'm glad you pursued things. It's too bad the good-neighbor underclass (as I call us) has to spend money on attorneys when authorities -- who are supposed to protect us -- fail to do so.

From Elizabeth:
Bob, I cant tell you what a releif to see that im not the only person going through this nightmare. the lake county fl sheriffs dept,not only refuses to take a report but the captain said to day it was an economic issue. "people that live out there in the woods put up with that behavior" i just laughed. My husband and i are a young couple who have a tile business in the mountains in va. we hung on to this trailor down in florida because it was cheap and if we ever wanted a place to stay it would be near all of his family. so we rented it out. at this point i have made it my personal mission to get the local law to get off their fat duffs. ha ha. anyway i have an attorney we are going over everything thurs the 14th. i believe i have a good case of negligence against the police. if it hadnt gone on repeatedly for over 3 yrs i would have let it go. but now i would like to take it all the way. thanks and stay in touch. im thinking of starting my own websight. any advice about tha t?

Author's Response:
Good for you, staying with it.

As for starting a site, I say the more the merrier. When I began my project there was no global community of sites dedicated to neighbor woes -- now there are plenty.

If you can figure out how to design and program the site yourself, you'd probably be looking at only around $250/year for hosting and domain name service. I pay that gladly and will continue to even if I can't finish or publish the book (my schedule is very tight and publishing contracts aren't exactly being handed out on street corners), because I see how much activity there is on the message board, and I enjoy providing the public service. But, since you're already paying legal fees, maybe you don't need yet another neighbor-related expense.

Please keep me updated as things progress. Best wishes.

From Karen (Detroit area), July 13, 2005:
HELP! Our neighbors have cost us much $ in the form of what we consider to be a nuisance lawsuit. In addition, they constantly harass us, threaten us with more lawsuits, flip us off, scream, yell, lie to the police, etc. I am at my wits' end with all the intimidation. we live on a dead end street and MUST pass by their property to/from our home. we get no help from the police or states attorney. i don't know where else to turn, and feel i may have to sell my home because of all the upheaval.

Author's Response:
Hi Karen. It sounds like a very complicated situation with hostility and a history of problems. Not knowing all details, the first thing I recommend is to hire an attorney, if you haven't already. Don't defend yourselves in the suit without good counsel. I realize this costs you money -- you're in the unfortunate position of having to spend money, no matter how unfair. I'm sorry.

Are these neighbors trying to get you to sell? Bringing litigation/filing police complaints -- for the purpose of making you move because they want your house or for another reason -- warrants a counter-suit. Your attorney can fill you in.

Are they calling police on you, or are you on them? What is the nature of the complaint? What is the nature of the lawsuit?

Your lawyer will handle legal representation better than I can, but give me more information and I'll be glad to give you sideline guidance. You'll also find both solution ideas and a place to vent at the NFH message board, if you haven't already used it.

Know that you're not alone. Build up your psychological defenses with other (good) neighbors/friends, try to spend only a little time each day handling this matter, and look into the laws in question regarding police complaints (i.e. if they're complaining about your noise, ensure local ordinance doesn't allow you to make a certain degree of noise during the time cited in the complaint; conversely, if you're complaining about their noise, ensure you have sufficient grounds to do so -- that your neighbors are violating the law).

I'll look for more information from you, so that I might provide additional guidance. I check email every day, so you should hear back relatively quickly. Good luck.

Karen wrote:
The older lawsuit is settled, we ended up signing a quitclaim deed and compromised on the location of the property line. I believe that these people originally wanted to purchase the property, but were unwilling to pay the asking price. When we first moved in, their kid used to ride down to our house and just talk, but he asked a few times if we were farmers or if we were going to raise cattle. I stated that the only thing I wanted to grow was a garden and trees.

I fear that another lawsuit may be coming. The last lawyer we had was a real estate lawyer, and he was great, but it took us 4 lawyers to get to him. Do you have any suggestions on what type of lawyer would handle this harassment problem? I never had to get a lawyer before and so I depended upon local guys, who (I feel), only wanted the $, but we got no real results until the real estate guy.

It does feel good, knowing that I'm not alone, or if not good, at least someone understands.

Author's Response:
I would say to stick with the lawyer you have if you're getting results. Real estate lawyers don't just handle settlements -- they can be well-versed in neighbor-related issues of a legal nature. Ask him directly whether he's the best person to represent you in the harassment area. If he says not or you decide not, call your local bar association for some names, describing the problem as neighbor harassment, related to real estate matters.

Many lawyers do want only to get your retainer fee, then you go into their mill and your case is handled by paralegals and aids. Personally, I find a good way to go with ongoing neighbor disputes is either a small office that doesn't take on too many clients, or a big and scary firm (are you close to Chicago or other major city?) that your opponent's counsel won't want to go up against. The big and scary firms cost a great deal of money.

But again, you might do fine with who you finally have now. I hope things get resolved soon. In the meantime, stay positive in your dealings with everyone else, don't focus too much on the conflict, and avoid communication with the bad neighbors.

I hope you'll keep me informed as things progress toward resolution. Keep the faith.

From Rob (New Orleans area), July 18, 2005:
MY WIFE AND I LIVE IN A FIRST FLOOR CONDO UNIT, ABOUT A MONTH AFTER WE MOVED IN THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS MOVED IN AND SINCE THEN IT'S BEEN A LIVING HELL.

PARTIES AND CARD GAMES ALMOST EVERY WEEK, TILL THE EARLY MORNING. LOUD OBNIOUXOUS MUSIC, VIDEO GAMES, CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND NIGHT. HEAVY FOOTSTEPS WHEN THEY WALK AROUND, AND CHAIRS CONSTANTLY BEING SHUFFLED AROUND ON THIER TILE FLOOR. WE HAVE CALLED THE POLICE ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, BUT THEY TELL US THAT ALL THEY CAN DO IS ASK THEM TO QUIET DOWN, WHICH THEY DO AND THEN WE CONTINUOUSLY GET HARRASSED EVEN MORE.

THE POLICE ALSO HAVE TOLD US TO CONTACT THE ASSOCIATION THAT RUNS THIS PLACE WHICH WE HAVE ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, BUT THEY KEEP TELLING US THAT THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN REALLY DO EXCEPT SENDING THEM LETTERS ASKING THEM TO QUIET DOWN. IT STATES IN OUR CONDO BY-LAWS THAT FINES WILL BE IMPOSED TO THOSE WHO DO NOT ABIDE BY THE RULES, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT THEY HAVE BEEN FINED ONCE YET. I DON'T THINK THAT THE CONDO ASSOCIATION HERE IS DOING WHAT IT SHOULD, AND I HAVE CALLED THEM SEVERAL TIMES TO COMPLAIN AND WRITTEN THEM SEVERAL LETTER AS WELL. ONE TIME I WAS EVEN YELLING AT THE OWNER OF THE MANAGMENT COMPANY! ANY SUGGESTIONS WILL BE VERY HELPFUL.

WE HAVE TRIED ASKING THIS JERK NICELY, BUT IT DOESN'T WORK. WHAT CAN WE DO? I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR THAT WE CAN'T GET ANY PEACE AND QUITE IN OUR OWN PLACE. THIS IS SO UNFAIR, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING TO GET THIS JERK TO QUIET DOWN, HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR OTHERS LIVING HERE.

Author's Response:
Hi Rob. I can certainly identify. I used to live in Philadelphia where police had a similar policy of asking noisemakers to quiet down, but wouldn't write tickets. The law allowed them to write them, but police management was against it because that would have meant officers would need to carry the appropriate ticket book, and then spend time on the scene of a non-violent crime.

My home wasn't part of an association -- we had side-by-side tiny townhouses. I was unlucky enough to have noisemakers on both sides of my home. I know of many people, though, with obnoxiously loud upstairs neighbors. So here it is.

Your association is in violation of a contract -- the bylaws which they came up with themselves, which you relied upon when buying your home. They need to begin fining the offenders immediately and for all future offenses, or you'll want to hire an attorney to sue the association firm.

Your neighbors are also in violation of a contract -- the same bylaws. In their case, they're not the enforcers who are failing to enforce the contract -- they're simply violating the terms to your detriment, thereby degrading the livability of your home. You can sue them for that, as well as mental anguish. Again, I'm afraid a lawyer is involved and I don't know how willing you feel to hire one. If you do, invest wisely in a large firm that scares the hell out of smaller lawyers. Noisy neighbors often lack financial resources to adequately defend themselves in a suit. You should keep a log of all noise offenses and incidents -- do your best to put together a log of past history (can be more general). Your new log for future offenses should list all times and dates, nature of noise, and any details.

Now we merge your log with police records. Keep calling police. They won't write tickets? Make them write up a report. Say you need a copy of the report and ask how you can obtain one. Note the time of the officer's arrival, amount of time it took after you called the police for cops to come, and officers' names.

Even without hiring a lawyer, you may develop a sufficient legal document -- your log -- to get both police and the condo association to act appropriately. Both are being lazy. Check your town/city's local laws concerning noise. It could be that, like in Philadelphia, cops are failing to protect you against the health-hazardous noise that they are required to protect you from.

Aside from all the legal stuff, you seem to have a good idea about when these people are awake. Try to establish their sleeping times. Up late at night/all night? If they're like my old neighbors from hell, they sleep the morning away, past the lunch time of us more productive, better neighbors. But how can they sleep all morning, say on a Saturday or Sunday, when you're making so much noise below them? Use the power nozzle of your vacuum to vacuum the ceiling -- find a way to rig it so you don't have to hold it up for as long as 15 minutes or hours. Set up speakers, particularly a bass-heavy subwoofer if you have one, on high cabinets or something else to get them close to the ceiling. Turn up the bass and volume and go out for the morning. Get other neighbors, if you know of any who are also affected by these people, to do the same. Don't do it just once -- do it all the time. Noisy neighbors who don't quiet down when asked are never going to quiet down on their own when authorities are impotent -- you need to make their lives miserable in exchange for the misery they're causing you.

This is a good point to mention personal safety. Don't put yourself or loved ones at risk if these people appear dangerous. Lovers of nuisance noise tend to be criminally-minded, so I caution you. If you're bigger than they are and are prepared to fight, you're in a good position. Unfortunately, you need to intimidate these people into coming into line with the law and bylaws, and simple neighbor decency.

It's little help, I realize, but know you're not alone. Millions of people are going through what you are -- we're in a culture of noise these days, and it's not a passing fad. All that we as the good-neighbor underclass can do is defend ourselves. Police/political/association response to noise culture is slow and may never overtake the un-neighborly habits of growing masses.

I'm here for any moral support and to provide any other guidance/ideas I can. Also, you'll find psychological benefits from posting and communicating on the NFH message board. Please keep me updated. Don't lose heart. See also a site I find articulates the neighbor noise problem quite well at www.NoiseFree.org.

Rob wrote:
HEY BOB,

I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE YOU GAVE ME, I HAVE BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF ALL THE NOISE THAT'S BEEN GOING ON. NEXT TIME I HAVE TO CALL OR WRITE TO THE ASSOCIATION I WILL TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE BY-LAWS, AND THAT I WILL START A LAW SUIT AGAINST THEM AND MY NEIGHBOR!

YES, I AGREE WITH YOU THEY ARE LAZY. EVERYTIME WE HAVE CALLED WE ARE JUST TOLD THAT THEY WILL SEND HIM A LETTER ASKING HIM TO QUIET DOWN. I'M WONDERING IF I HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET COPIES TO ALL THESE LETTERS THAT THEY CLAIM THEY HAVE SENT HIM, BECAUSE BELIEVE ME I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE SENT AS MANY AS THEY SAY THEY HAVE. THEY ALSO KEEP TELLING ME THAT HE DOES OWN THE UNIT, AND THERE IS REALLY NOTHING THEY CAN DO. I DONT EVEN THINK HE HAS BEEN FINED ONCE, LIKE THE BY-LAWS SAY! THEY WANT THERE MONTHLY FEE, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO GETTING SOMETHING DONE, THEY DON'T CARE. ONE TIME WHEN I CALLED THE PROPERTY MANAGER TOLD ME THAT HE DEALS WITH COMPLAINTS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME, MY RESPONSE WAS, GOOD IT'S YOUR JOB!!!! DEAL WITH IT. I EVEN TOLD HIM I WOULD BE HAPPY TO CALL HIM AND HAVE HIM OVER WHEN THE NOISE WAS GOING ON, I GOT NO RESPONSE FROM THAT?? THEY JUST DON'T WAN'T TO DEAL WITH IT.

ANYWAY BOB, I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED, AND THANKS AGAIN. P.S. THE ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT I WORK AT A LAW FIRM AND THEY ARE WILLING TO HELP ME OUT!

From Sophia ([town name omitted], TX), July 23, 2005:
I love this website! My husband and I have NFH who are constantly using our yard to play ball in. Their sprinkler system sprays our driveway and vehicle as well. Where can I find the ordinances or laws for this kind of thing? Who can I get in touch with to make this stop?

Author's Response:
Hi Sophia. Your local library should have a copy of the [town name omitted] code book, and your local police/town hall definitely will.

Localities differ on who enforces what. Most likely, your zoning officer should be informed about the sprinkler system spraying into your territory. Had they obtained permits to get the system installed (if they had to), zoning would have ensured the spray stayed on your neighbor's land. If they needed permits and failed to get them, zoning could force them to remove the system, or at least adjust it so as not to spray you. See if your zoning officer will look into the matter, and at least tell you what you can do meanwhile. Check with police also -- your newly-washed car cost you money to keep clean, and their sprinkler effectively damages your property when you look at it that way (water might not hurt the car, but treat the cleaning you pay for as YOUR PROPERTY, which they're damaging). Property damage is a police matter. Cops might laugh at you, but they still have to write up a report when you suffer a loss and desire a police report.

Police certainly can be called if your neighbors are trespassing to play ball on your property. If they're literally doing so, file a trespassing report. If you were being figurative, and the ball simply flies onto your land, you can still charge them with trespassing in many cases (the ball is there without invitation), and perhaps with endangering you/your family, especially if it's a hard ball.

Glad you like the site. If you otherwise like these people, of course, do your best to work things out with them face to face. But, based on the fact you're looking for help online, I assume these are not friends of yours and aren't nice people. Put them in their place wherever you can, and always remain careful in dealing with volatile neighbors -- bad neighbors sometimes exhibit criminal tendencies. Keep yourself safe and avoid confrontation with anyone you suspect would be willing to harm you or your property. Good luck and keep me informed. Remember the NFH message board, too -- lots of people exchange ideas and cross-support each other there.